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Overheard Text Messages

Me: I’m shopping at Aldi right now in an anti-Chinese protest.

Brian: That’s odd.

Me: Yeah I know – intentionally patronizing a French owned store to offset a Chinese boycott.

Brian: Offset? What are you talking about?

Me: Because the Chinese are boycotting Aldi
Me: So if the boycott has less effect the Chinese will feel like the paper tiger they are.

Brian: Ohhh. Hilarious! You are like a scab.

Me: “the scab China couldn’t pick off”