Author Archives: Beau Woods
Meandering Mind
The scarlet-crimson light lasts longer aloft than when seen from the ground. Impossibly long, as it drags out, each minute changing shade imperceptibly but inexorably. Each shade darker and more primally beautiful than the last. The serrated silhuettes of Tetons cascading past rocky past sierra. The quilted cover of snow topped peaks and plains from the day replaced by sleeping hulks. Blooms of light passing below like some strange luminescent diaspora floating in the murky deep. Blossoming flowers too faded to discern in detail but present nonetheless. Occasional clouds stretch on the horizon like blackened birds, dispairingly dark like some transplant from a crushingly deep abyss. Scarlet smears to crimson then smudges into more ordinary hues and then again to a darkness that seems to mirror but not quite imitate the one below. The darkness a bit more pale. The luminescence less organized. And the swolen circle of light which must be the reflection of the observer – ever peering with one glowing eye straining to see through the dimness something. Though I know not what, something. Some thing I may find out there.
Americans’ Heaven Not Just For Christians
I stumbled across this nugget of news and I had to pass it along. According to the majority of Americans, Heaven is not just reserved for Christians. That is according to a couple of studies done by the Pew Research Center. In other words, for our European friends, most Americans are not fanatical evangelical Christians. That is something that many Europeans have asked me when I’ve been traveling. I guess that’s how we’re portrayed in the media over there, as backward barbarians – probably just before discussing the body count of the latest “football” stampedes.
I’m not saying that Americans have no problems or that Europeans aren’t also good people. But this is something that’s always bothered me about what Europeans think of Americans. Everyone on each side of the Atlantic (and across the globe really) should remember that what they see on TV and in the papers isn’t always necessarily reality. Everybody has a perspective and those often make their way into an article or report.
Help Wanted
I have a side business where I dispose of obsolete corporate technology assets. That’s a fancy way of saying that people pay me to take their rusty computer hardware. Only some of it isn’t rusty or obsolete and I can fix it up and sell it. But being that I travel all the time, I don’t have the chance. So I’m paying for a couple of storage units because I’m a pack rat and can’t stand to throw anything out.
So I have been looking for somebody do help me out when I’m out of town to fix the machines and sell them. It’s not exactly a 9-5 position, as I can’t provide a regular paycheck and don’t offer benefits or anything. But I figure that if I cut this person in as a percentage of the profits, that should be enough to get somebody interested in stepping up to the plate. The problem is that it takes initiative, ambition, and the willingness to make the job work for you, rather than just sitting back and collecting a paycheck. I have had some help, but for one reason or another these people have had better things to do (yeah, like graduating college is going to help!) or just haven’t worked out.
But last night, in a fit of insomnia, I posted an ad on Craigslist. Here’s what it said:
I'm looking for somebody who either doesn't know how to fix computers and
wants to learn or who knows how and just wants a part time job. The ideal
candidate will probably be a high school or college student who's smart
and ambitious (or just bored) and wants to make some cash -- which is
just as good as money!
Here's what your resumé will say for this job:
*Troubleshot and replaced hardware
*Installed hardware
*Installed software
*Worked with Windows XP and Linux
*Performed cost/benefit analysis and ROI calculations
*Worked with data security regulations
*Worked with environmental disposal regulations
*Demonstrated good communication skills (employers always want to see this)
Let me tell you a sad story. I have about a hundred computers that don't
work. And I've got a bunch of parts to fix them up to sell. But I don't
have the time to do it. So I'm paying outrageous amounts each month to
store all this stuff. The end, here's a tissue.
I'll leave it to you to figure out what you'll be doing. If it sounds like
fun, get in touch with me. This job will give you only as much as you're
willing to put into it. And if you've got the motivation and desire, you
can make this job really work for you in your future.
Compensation: $10-$25 per hour
This is a part-time job
This is an internship job
I figured that I’d have about a half dozen people contact me over a week or so and that one might work out. I mean what kind of a lunatic would respond to that ad? Only the kind of lunatic that I wanted working for me, I’d hoped. Somebody who’s a little bit ‘out there’ and doesn’t really want a full time job for one reason or another but is plenty ambitious and maybe somewhat bored with their life. Somebody like me.
But without realizing it, I apparently posted everybody’s dream job. Either that or there really aren’t any jobs for computer people. 12 hours later, I’ve got 50 emails about this position! About half sent a resume. I’d planned to delete them all, but some of the messages seemed promising. The ones without messages were deleted immediately. About a third were women. Some were way overqualified – 15 years as a Sysadmin and you want to do this job? Many of them didn’t get that this is a part time temporary position.
And some of them made me laugh. Maybe they’re that funny, maybe it’s just been a long week.
The job that you have posted is perfect for one of my former students!!! ...
What, was your Mom too busy to email me? Kid, if you want a job go get it yourself. And the letter had funny wording that said she wasn’t getting paid to do it. Three exclamation points is too many anyway.
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I am currently located in New Jersey...
Next. Also, this guy sent me his and his friend’s resumes.
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you wont need to teach me how to repair computers, if you truly need that many repaired then please contact me at....
What if I don’t truly need them repaired? Or what if it’s one less than a hundred? this guy seems to be challenging me or questioning my credibility. Not cool.
—–
I also have a few laptops with parts I am trying to turn into some cash....
If you haven’t done it by now, you’re probably not the person I’m looking for.
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I saw your ad about fixing those busted machines. It reminded me that I
have one on the blink as well.
Not exactly a “go-getter” when it comes to technology, are you?
—–
I don't know anything about cost/benefit analysis and ROI calculations,
data security regulations, or environmental disposal regulations, but I
am sure learning it will be easy since I fantasize about working with
numbers and the like. by the way I am very detailed and my communication
skills are supreme.
Oh, this one is a GEM! By this guy’s logic, all the ladies in Maxim are “easy” too. But I suppose those are some pretty “supreme” communication skills.
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What is the background of your setup? Please bear with me, but this
sounds a touch shady, or at least too good to be true.
Shady or too good to be true? I’m not the son of a deposed African dictator or anything. Actually, this one might be promising and I think I’ll follow up.
—–
One person described herself as a “caped crusader.” Nice.
—–
One person described herself as having a “passion for the electronic world.” I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds like a load of BS.
—–
Sure let's talk about it.
This wasn’t a personal question directed at you. You sound almost like I’m imposing.
—–
Okay, I will fix them for you.
Again, I’m not asking for a favor or addressing you directly. Also this guy’s name sounds like a cheap scotch.
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My resume is mostly geared towards web design but if I’m technical
enough to do that stuff I can certainly work with the guts of a computer.
Really? Because “web design” could be as simple as throwing a template into some WYSIWYG software and tweaking the colors. More like Martha Stewart than Bob Vila. I’ll bet old Bob can’t pick out color swatches to save his life, but I’d rather have him working with the “guts” of my house than Martha.
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...and can fix ALL of your computers.
What about the one where somebody set it on fire and then threw a bunch of water on it? You might be in over your head, friend.
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Reducing Hotel Waste
I do a whole lot of traveling around and it means that I generate a lot of extra waste that I wouldn’t if I had a local job (unless I drove 45+ minutes a day to work). The bulk of this comes from flying and staying in hotels. There’s not a lot I can do about the flying part, but here’s what I’ve been doing to try to cut down on the amount of waste I’m producing by staying in hotels:
1. No Service. Put the little card on your door that says you don’t want to have anybody come in and clean. You can reiterate this at the front desk and ask that they don’t deliver the newspaper or leave clean towels at your door. I usually don’t have time to read the paper and I’ve always got towels and things that are clean.
2. Only Use One Can. I usually just use the trash can in the bathroom. This can save some bags, important if you don’t want to use the rule above. Or maybe I’m just being too cheap. I’m not sure.
3. Turn Off The Thermostat. Most of the time I find that I can safely turn off the A/C or heater in the room. The area next to you is going to be thermoregulated (you like the word I made up?) on at least three and usually five of your six sides. I don’t typically have a problem unless I’m in Florida. Usually in the winter and/or in the cold areas this isn’t even an issue. Everybody is blasting their heater and you get the benefit. Not that it costs you anything but still….
4. Use Your Own Soap. Those little bitty bottles are great if you want to feel like a giant, but it creates a lot of waste if you’re constantly using only a couple of days’ worth of shampoo and conditioner and soap. I usually get the mini bottles at the drug store and then refill them when they get close to empty. Also, different soaps and shampoos use different ingredients to clean you. Some will pull more or less or just different oils off of you and leave traces of different things on you. I have found that my hair and skin don’t get nearly as dried out when I stick to the same brand.
If you run a hotel or if you just want to make suggestions to someone who does, here are a couple of things that really bug me:
1. Energy Efficient Lighting. Begin using energy efficient bulbs the next time you have to replace one. It’s cheaper that way than doing them all at once and will probably save you money within a year. And inside of two years you’ll probably see a difference just in the cost of light bulbs.
2. Follow The Rules. Make sure your housekeepers are sticking to the “floor=change rack=leave” policy. Some hotels say they do but they don’t. Also, don’t replace the bath mat. It’s on the floor because it’s supposed to be.
3. Don’t Half-Ass It. I’ve been in several hotels where they claim to care about the environment but all the things they mention are things they want the guests to do, while not contributing themselves. Or they contradict themselves. For example, they ask me to conserve water and power. But they have incandescent bulbs and run the TV when nobody’s watching it. Or maybe they’ve got a nice water fountain out front of the hotel in a place where there’s year-round 80 degree days with 5 percent humidity. That makes the guests not care.
From Rapids City
This morning it was 7 when I woke up. That’s both Fahrenheit and am. It was also snowy and windy. This time last year I was in Fargo and it was in the fifties until the last day when the weather was still just a bit warmer. London should be downright balmy next week.
Right now I’m having dinner at the Firehouse Brewery. The BBQ Buffalo Brisket is fairly good but it tastes just like a beef brisket. Maybe it is or maybe the sauce just masks the taste. It seems like nearly all cuisine in this part of the country is covered in sauce. Gravy or cheese sauce or club sauce. It’s good at making mediocre cooking more flavorful. Their smoke jumper stout is better and isn’t covered in sauce of any kind.
If I get the time later I’m going to head to Mount Rushmore and take some photos at night. Then I get on a plane to head back to Atlanta for a day or so. I think I spend more time traveling from here to Atlanta than from Atlanta to London due to the fact that there are no direct flights.
meanderingwoods 