Author Archives: Beau Woods
Old Friends and Imprisoned Luggage
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I have not been able to change clothes or post anything for the last two days because my luggage was imprisoned in a Viennese hostel locker. To tell how it got there and why it was stuck I will have to start a bit earlier. It started with an email.
“You will go to the Meininger Hostel tonight at 20.00 where you will be greeted by a friend.” The Philadelphian.
When I arrived at the hostel, I was indeed greeted by an old friend and roommate, named Yu. I haven’t seen him in about 3 years, during which time he’s been in school in Japan. This week he moved to Vienna.
So we caught up and planned out some things to see and do and went to get some dinner and drinks. I locked my luggage in the locker with a nice, strong lock designed to resist a shim.
We got back to the hostel and I realized that somewhere I had lost the key. I searched my pockets but to no avail. The key had vanished like a David Copperfield trick. No real trouble, just cut the lock off and be done with it. It happens a thousand times a year in hostels the world over, I’m sure.
Except there was a problem. The hostel had no way to deal with a well-made lock, they were only equipped to cut off the poorly made ones like those they sold. (Hey, a locked storage space like that is only meant to deter casual theft not a determined attacker.) We could always force the locker open by wrenching the locked piece, but that would break it. And their handyman wouldn’t be in until Monday to figure out a way to get it off without breaking the locker.
Stranded. Without phone. Without clean clothes. Without toiletries. Without laptop.
So finally this morning the handyman arrives, grabs the pliers and wrenches off the lock and I have my bag back.
Quick Bits On Oktoberfest
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The apron that women wear has a secret – if it is tied on the left, they are available; on the right, they are taken. Handy to know.
After 5pm the beer halls get crowded as people leave work and come to the party. So get your table early. The bands also play more foreign and popular songs intermixed with their traditional German ones.
They don’t put mustard on their pretzels here, but they do on their weisswurst. They put sour cream on their baked potatoes but call it yoghurt.
Most tents have their own themes, rooted in the traditional German labor force. You have the Fischer Vroni tent celebrates the fishermen; Hacker Festzelt seems to celebrate the lumber jack; Schutzen-Festzelt is for the hunters.
Auf Wiedersehen, München
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Italians, Germans, Kenyans, Russians, Polish, Canadian, Irish, Americans and Brits and Aussies and Japanese. I have made and lost hundreds of new friends over the last few days. But now I must bid them, and Munich, auf wiedersehen.
I set myself a mission here: to have a drink at each tent on the grounds. That’s 15 by my map. Its apparently not very common for people to have visited all tents – even residents of Munich. I can see why, it’s a very difficult task.
Last night I had to find the back way into the Kafer tent – it’s usually just the rich and famous who get in there. And I talked my way into the Weinzelt where their specialty is wine. It was completely full, but I just told my story and showed my map with the other tents crossed off. The security guards actually cleared a path through the line for me to get in front of everyone else. I had breakfast and a coffee only this morning in the final one. Appropriate since the Kaiser-Schmarrn is a cafe.
I don’t think I could drink another liter of beer. It would be good to get out of town and clear my head a little. Fortunately, I have my next destination determined somewhere along the Danube.
Right now I’m on a speeding train winding its way through the Alps at 200km per hour. I’ll shortly arrive in Vienna and then to my next mission, whatever that may be.
Oktoberfest
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It’s nearly noon at Oktoberfest. Waitresses carry massive trays of food and armloads of beer. Nine liters (2 gallons) of beer in one armload. Trays that must be a yard across, filled with wursts, fowl, potatoes and more. If I hadn’t seen it I wouldn’t have believed it.
I feel like Neo in the Matrix dodging trays and steins like bullets walking up the narrow rows between tables in the beerhalls. Nearly all seats are filled. Men and women wear the traditional dress of their native lands. I feel under dressed – my belt is the only thing I am wearing made of leather. Here you can see an idealized version of the German-speaking peoples’ past.
I sit next to a group of Austrians and discuss their attire. “This is the traditional clothing of the farmer and the farmer-shooter [hunter] near Salzburg. The farmer-shooter was quite a good job because in times of war, they were called upon. We have a long tradition of beating up the German man.” And they laugh. Old disagreements are buried now, as you can see when the band strikes up a particularly popular song. Everyone sings along, standing on the tables and benches.
I feel like I’m at a college football game. The large brass section and booming drums. Um-pa-pa Um-pa-pa. I hear familiar sections of songs. It occurs to me that The Budweiser Song would probably be very popular here.
Oktoberfest is like a giant picnic with a quarter million of your closest friends and lots of beer. Lots of singing and talking and laughing. It’s time for another stein. Prost!
The Grand Triangle
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I opened the Mission Pack. It had previously occurred to me that the envelope was a bit small to contain more than one travel book – therefore I assumed I would be staying in Germany. I found that one assumption was right, the other wrong. There was one book. But it covered the whole of Europe.
Also enclosed was a rail timetable, a large map of Europe and a letter.
Into Munich and out of Athens. Two options: Eastern Europe or south, through Italy. I was shockingly close in my previous guesses. The Philadelphian told me I’d have 9 and a half hours to plan the trip. There would be no sleeping for me.
I think I will be going through Eastern Europe, rather than Italy. I can either hug the coast or go deep into the heart of the continent. Either path would be a lot of fun would allow me to see places I’ve long wanted to. It’s going to be a good next couple of weeks.
My Phone Drowned
I was on the tilt-a-whirl today. You know, the one that launches you up and around and flips you upside down. Well apparently my phone fell out of my pocket during that time. Spectators said they saw it mid swing. In other words, it launched a few hundred yards. Yeah, it’s bad. Luckily it landed softly in the water. Yeah, that’s bad too. The up-shot is that I found it. Or rather the guys who run the ride found it. They held it in a towel so it wouldn’t drip all over the place. It’s drying now. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you called me in the past day, understand if I don’t answer.
The Travel Destination
I board the plane, and take my seat quickly. The Mission Pack lays in my lap, tauntingly. Shortly I will open it. Excitement mounts. Tension grows as the other passengers board the plane. A very tall man moves next to me and sits, crammed into the small seat, twisted like a Bavarian pretzel. The Philadelphian calls and bids me good luck. The plane fills. The flight crew readies the cabin.
Delayed. They haven’t put on enough fuel for the trip. We wait. I trace the corners and creases on the Mission Pack, hopeful for the rubber to break contact with the tarmac. The plane is now fuled up. We push back from the gate and taxi out. We are first for takeoff.
The plane lumbers across the ground, bumping and rocking like a clumsy penguin. Faster. Faster. Air catches the wings and the pressure on the wheels gradually decreases. The pressure on the flap of the envelope gradually increases. At the moment the wheels lose their traction, so the tacky glue loses its hold. By the time the plane’s wheels are tucked under its body the mission pack is in hand. A single phrase is scribed on the cover.
“The Grand Triangle”
Mystery Trip Update
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With only a week to go before take-off, I got a note from The Philadelphian, along with a small package. Here is the letter that I received.
One Week Before Your Trip – Reminders and Tips
You depart on Delta on Saturday September 19th in the late afternoon. Arrive at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport absolutely no later than 2:30pm!
Your destination will be made clear to you upon check-in. You will likely need to input your destination either into the kiosk. Your flight information is on a piece of paper attached below. Open only at the airport on your day of travel.
Note: You will be traveling via the international terminal.
Because you are traveling internationally and will have to go through immigration upon arrival you will need to state where you are staying. To avoid this problem, I have booked your first night of residence. I have booked ONLY your first night. Your biggest challenge, and I cannot understate this, will be finding accommodations beyond your first day. I wish you luck. Details will be provided in your travel day package.
Packing tips:
- Pack light. Be prepared to travel lightly and be comfortable with all your belongings on your back. Less is more. You need to be extremely mobile.
- Be prepared to have a lot of fun with lots of other people also having fun. You do not want to be hindered by your belongings.
- Do not pack any items that will create inhibitions in your actions. E.g. expensive cameras, video cameras or other items that could be stolen. I am not telling you not to bring such things. I am just telling you that the environment you will be placed in requires you to not care.
- I fully recommend 2 complete sets of clothes, but absolutely no more. Convertible shorts/pants would be ideal. It is likely some clothes will get very sloppy.
- Money. This trip by its nature will require you to spend some cash. I won’t say any more than that.
Your return flight is on Saturday October 10th around mid-day.
You will receive a full mission package with everything you will need from a navigation stand point. You have an incredible trip ahead of you. It starts off with a huge bang and then gets pretty serious pretty quick considering your mission.
Godspeed and Good Luck.
And on the package is written:
To: Beau Woods
From: The Handler
To be opened when the wheels leave the ground on 9/19/2009. Not a second before.
Contents: documents, book, pen, maps
meanderingwoods 