Monthly Archives: December 2008
I have a side business where I dispose of obsolete corporate technology assets. That’s a fancy way of saying that people pay me to take their rusty computer hardware. Only some of it isn’t rusty or obsolete and I can fix it up and sell it. But being that I travel all the time, I don’t have the chance. So I’m paying for a couple of storage units because I’m a pack rat and can’t stand to throw anything out.
So I have been looking for somebody do help me out when I’m out of town to fix the machines and sell them. It’s not exactly a 9-5 position, as I can’t provide a regular paycheck and don’t offer benefits or anything. But I figure that if I cut this person in as a percentage of the profits, that should be enough to get somebody interested in stepping up to the plate. The problem is that it takes initiative, ambition, and the willingness to make the job work for you, rather than just sitting back and collecting a paycheck. I have had some help, but for one reason or another these people have had better things to do (yeah, like graduating college is going to help!) or just haven’t worked out.
I'm looking for somebody who either doesn't know how to fix computers and
wants to learn or who knows how and just wants a part time job. The ideal
candidate will probably be a high school or college student who's smart
and ambitious (or just bored) and wants to make some cash -- which is
just as good as money!
Here's what your resumé will say for this job:
*Troubleshot and replaced hardware
*Worked with Windows XP and Linux
*Performed cost/benefit analysis and ROI calculations
*Worked with data security regulations
*Worked with environmental disposal regulations
*Demonstrated good communication skills (employers always want to see this)
Let me tell you a sad story. I have about a hundred computers that don't
work. And I've got a bunch of parts to fix them up to sell. But I don't
have the time to do it. So I'm paying outrageous amounts each month to
store all this stuff. The end, here's a tissue.
I'll leave it to you to figure out what you'll be doing. If it sounds like
fun, get in touch with me. This job will give you only as much as you're
willing to put into it. And if you've got the motivation and desire, you
can make this job really work for you in your future.
Compensation: $10-$25 per hour
This is a part-time job
This is an internship job
I figured that I’d have about a half dozen people contact me over a week or so and that one might work out. I mean what kind of a lunatic would respond to that ad? Only the kind of lunatic that I wanted working for me, I’d hoped. Somebody who’s a little bit ‘out there’ and doesn’t really want a full time job for one reason or another but is plenty ambitious and maybe somewhat bored with their life. Somebody like me.
But without realizing it, I apparently posted everybody’s dream job. Either that or there really aren’t any jobs for computer people. 12 hours later, I’ve got 50 emails about this position! About half sent a resume. I’d planned to delete them all, but some of the messages seemed promising. The ones without messages were deleted immediately. About a third were women. Some were way overqualified – 15 years as a Sysadmin and you want to do this job? Many of them didn’t get that this is a part time temporary position.
And some of them made me laugh. Maybe they’re that funny, maybe it’s just been a long week.
The job that you have posted is perfect for one of my former students!!! ...
What, was your Mom too busy to email me? Kid, if you want a job go get it yourself. And the letter had funny wording that said she wasn’t getting paid to do it. Three exclamation points is too many anyway.
I am currently located in New Jersey...
Next. Also, this guy sent me his and his friend’s resumes.
you wont need to teach me how to repair computers, if you truly need that many repaired then please contact me at....
What if I don’t truly need them repaired? Or what if it’s one less than a hundred? this guy seems to be challenging me or questioning my credibility. Not cool.
I also have a few laptops with parts I am trying to turn into some cash....
If you haven’t done it by now, you’re probably not the person I’m looking for.
I saw your ad about fixing those busted machines. It reminded me that I
have one on the blink as well.
Not exactly a “go-getter” when it comes to technology, are you?
I don't know anything about cost/benefit analysis and ROI calculations,
data security regulations, or environmental disposal regulations, but I
am sure learning it will be easy since I fantasize about working with
numbers and the like. by the way I am very detailed and my communication
skills are supreme.
Oh, this one is a GEM! By this guy’s logic, all the ladies in Maxim are “easy” too. But I suppose those are some pretty “supreme” communication skills.
What is the background of your setup? Please bear with me, but this
sounds a touch shady, or at least too good to be true.
Shady or too good to be true? I’m not the son of a deposed African dictator or anything. Actually, this one might be promising and I think I’ll follow up.
One person described herself as a “caped crusader.” Nice.
One person described herself as having a “passion for the electronic world.” I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds like a load of BS.
Sure let's talk about it.
This wasn’t a personal question directed at you. You sound almost like I’m imposing.
Okay, I will fix them for you.
Again, I’m not asking for a favor or addressing you directly. Also this guy’s name sounds like a cheap scotch.
My resume is mostly geared towards web design but if I’m technical
enough to do that stuff I can certainly work with the guts of a computer.
Really? Because “web design” could be as simple as throwing a template into some WYSIWYG software and tweaking the colors. More like Martha Stewart than Bob Vila. I’ll bet old Bob can’t pick out color swatches to save his life, but I’d rather have him working with the “guts” of my house than Martha.
...and can fix ALL of your computers.
What about the one where somebody set it on fire and then threw a bunch of water on it? You might be in over your head, friend.
I do a whole lot of traveling around and it means that I generate a lot of extra waste that I wouldn’t if I had a local job (unless I drove 45+ minutes a day to work). The bulk of this comes from flying and staying in hotels. There’s not a lot I can do about the flying part, but here’s what I’ve been doing to try to cut down on the amount of waste I’m producing by staying in hotels:
1. No Service. Put the little card on your door that says you don’t want to have anybody come in and clean. You can reiterate this at the front desk and ask that they don’t deliver the newspaper or leave clean towels at your door. I usually don’t have time to read the paper and I’ve always got towels and things that are clean.
2. Only Use One Can. I usually just use the trash can in the bathroom. This can save some bags, important if you don’t want to use the rule above. Or maybe I’m just being too cheap. I’m not sure.
3. Turn Off The Thermostat. Most of the time I find that I can safely turn off the A/C or heater in the room. The area next to you is going to be thermoregulated (you like the word I made up?) on at least three and usually five of your six sides. I don’t typically have a problem unless I’m in Florida. Usually in the winter and/or in the cold areas this isn’t even an issue. Everybody is blasting their heater and you get the benefit. Not that it costs you anything but still….
4. Use Your Own Soap. Those little bitty bottles are great if you want to feel like a giant, but it creates a lot of waste if you’re constantly using only a couple of days’ worth of shampoo and conditioner and soap. I usually get the mini bottles at the drug store and then refill them when they get close to empty. Also, different soaps and shampoos use different ingredients to clean you. Some will pull more or less or just different oils off of you and leave traces of different things on you. I have found that my hair and skin don’t get nearly as dried out when I stick to the same brand.
If you run a hotel or if you just want to make suggestions to someone who does, here are a couple of things that really bug me:
1. Energy Efficient Lighting. Begin using energy efficient bulbs the next time you have to replace one. It’s cheaper that way than doing them all at once and will probably save you money within a year. And inside of two years you’ll probably see a difference just in the cost of light bulbs.
2. Follow The Rules. Make sure your housekeepers are sticking to the “floor=change rack=leave” policy. Some hotels say they do but they don’t. Also, don’t replace the bath mat. It’s on the floor because it’s supposed to be.
3. Don’t Half-Ass It. I’ve been in several hotels where they claim to care about the environment but all the things they mention are things they want the guests to do, while not contributing themselves. Or they contradict themselves. For example, they ask me to conserve water and power. But they have incandescent bulbs and run the TV when nobody’s watching it. Or maybe they’ve got a nice water fountain out front of the hotel in a place where there’s year-round 80 degree days with 5 percent humidity. That makes the guests not care.
This morning it was 7 when I woke up. That’s both Fahrenheit and am. It was also snowy and windy. This time last year I was in Fargo and it was in the fifties until the last day when the weather was still just a bit warmer. London should be downright balmy next week.
Right now I’m having dinner at the Firehouse Brewery. The BBQ Buffalo Brisket is fairly good but it tastes just like a beef brisket. Maybe it is or maybe the sauce just masks the taste. It seems like nearly all cuisine in this part of the country is covered in sauce. Gravy or cheese sauce or club sauce. It’s good at making mediocre cooking more flavorful. Their smoke jumper stout is better and isn’t covered in sauce of any kind.
If I get the time later I’m going to head to Mount Rushmore and take some photos at night. Then I get on a plane to head back to Atlanta for a day or so. I think I spend more time traveling from here to Atlanta than from Atlanta to London due to the fact that there are no direct flights.
This one’s been sitting around for a while just waiting for me to finish it. I don’t think I ever will, so here it is. Forgive me if it sucks.
Hogans – good atmosphere, cool environment, etc.
Fibber Magee’s – don’t let the music offend you, it’s a cool bar.
Place with rooftop bar – rooftop bar, probably great for sunset!
Guinness Brewery – very cool architecture and interactive tour.
Staunton’s on the Green – cheap hotel in a great neighborhood.
North of the Liffey – people are more interesting, not as crowded or pretentious.
Brussels & Flanders – go to Fibber Magee’s instead for your death metal.
Palace Bar – told me they weren’t serving while taking orders from other people.
Jameson Distillery – letdown after Guinness